Every January I sit down at my laptop (I’m actually starting this one at my desk on my lunch break because #productivity) and think about the last 12 months and the year ahead. I think about what I’ve achieved over the year, where I think I could do better and set myself some goals and targets for the coming months.
But I’m not doing that this year.
I’ve always defined my success by numbers the past: I’ve needed to reach x amount of followers on Instagram (lol algorithm, why do you hate me?), or publish a certain number of blog posts. Whether it’s goals, resolutions or targets, I always end up falling short of the lofty heights I’ve told myself I need to reach and in all honesty I always end up feeling quite crappy about myself as a result.
I’m sick of stepping into a new year dwelling on the past and feeling rubbish about myself. It’s not healthy, and it’s not worth it. Of course I still have goals and want to better myself – who doesn’t? But this year I’m not going to move through the motions like every other year and end up in the same negative position. I’m going to change my relationship with success and how I define it.
In 2018 I’m going to stop caring about the numbers that I’ve spent years obsessing over and instead I’m going to actually focus on myself. I’ve spent so long defining my success by others; whether people like my content or if I’m ‘growing’ enough, when really my idea of what it means to be successful should be about how I perceive myself.
It’s taken me 24 years, but I’ve finally realised that my success should not be determined by others, but by myself. Someone give me a high-five because goddamnit I’ve finally worked it out.
So how am I defining success in 2018?
Success is loving the content I spend time producing, not the amount of posts I write or how many people read them. Success is enjoying posting a photo on Instagram and scrolling through Twitter, not caring about the follower count and how it might change. Success is enjoying what I do and how I spend my time, because as long as I’m happy then that’s all that matters.
In previous years I’ve always been my own worst enemy, and I feel like that putting so much pressure on myself to achieve ended up doing more harm than good. But now it feels like a switch has flipped in my mind and I’m seeing the world in a different way. It’s exciting, and it’s weirdly liberating.
I’ve stepped into 2018 with a refreshed outlook and a determination that I’ve never had before.
I’m ready to work for my happiness in 2018. I’m ready to succeed.